After supper, run down patio steps
to where your backyard ends
and the wild forest starts. The air
is thin and cool.
Animals dart their sparkling eyes
at you like bright, shooting fires.
Black walnuts
and apples sit
scattered at the trees’ feet.
Touch them.
Their dried-up cores
are still breathing.
deep stuff...
ReplyDeletei wonder where that girl ended up.. theres gotta be some serious psychological ramifications of getting leaves shoved in your mouth at that age..
Leaves shoved in the mouth? They're just kids playing in a tranquil yard, natedoggjazz. Kids are very durable. The girl is older than the boy so the boy would simply have been at most a nuisance, not some life-long wound. But thanks for coming out.
ReplyDelete'The air is thin and cool.' Remove 'there' and voila! You see? By removing 'there' the reader is suddenly there.
2nd stanza itself needs to be unfolded. However this reaching for symbols is good. It's certainly better than the usual intellectual clubhouse poems flowing around out there.